Betrayed By Body Language

You have undoubtedly heard about body language, a fascinating world where words are not the only things doing the talking. From the tilt of your head to the sway of your hips, your body constantly sends signals that convey meaning and emotion.

It has been said that 90% of communication is nonverbal. This figure was proposed by Albert Mehrabian, a body language researcher, who first broke down the components of a face-to-face conversation.

He found that communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words only. Therefore, it should be no surprise that our actions speak louder than words.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone's words seemed to say one thing, but their body language told a completely different story?

Let's take a quick look at some of the subtle cues and signals that betray our true thoughts and feelings, even when we try to mask them with words:

1. Facial Expressions

Your face is incredibly expressive, conveying many emotions without uttering a word. From smiles and frowns to raised eyebrows and squinted eyes, your facial expressions reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings for all to see.

For example, let's say you're having a heated argument with a loved one.

As they speak, you notice that their brow is furrowed, their lips pressed into a tight line, and their nostrils flared with anger. Despite their attempts to remain composed, their facial expressions betray their real emotions, revealing the depth of their frustration or resentment.

2. Eye Contact

They say the eyes are the mirrors of the soul, and for good reason.

Eye contact can convey interest, trust, and intimacy but also disdain, discomfort, and deception. Whether you meet someone's gaze or avoid it altogether, your eyes speak volumes about your level of engagement and connection.

Imagine you're conversing with a friend who is recounting a funny story. You notice their eyes darting around the room as they speak, avoiding direct eye contact.

Despite their cheerful tone, their lack of eye contact signals discomfort or insecurity, casting doubt on the authenticity of their words.

3. Gestures

Talk to the hand!

Our hands are natural storytellers. We use gestures to emphasize points or add clarity to our verbal communication. Whether we're waving hello, giving a thumbs-up, or pointing to indicate a direction, our gestures help reinforce the message we're trying to convey.

Now, envision a politician delivering a speech to a crowd of supporters.

You notice his exaggerated and theatrical gestures as he speaks, with sweeping arm movements and dramatic flourishes.

Despite his passionate words, his over-the-top gestures betray insincerity or manipulation, leaving the audience sceptical or distrustful.

4. Posture

Stand tall and proud!

Your posture says a lot about your confidence, status, and mood. Whether reclining in your chair, standing with your arms crossed, or sitting up straight with your shoulders back, your posture can signal everything from openness and assertiveness to defensiveness and insecurity.

Imagine you're meeting with your boss, discussing a new project. As she speaks, you notice her shoulders are hunched forward, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, and her gaze averted.

Despite her encouragement, her closed-off posture sends a clear message of defensiveness or disinterest, undermining the sincerity of her verbal communication.

5. Body Orientation

Which way are you facing?

Your body orientation—facing toward or away from someone—can convey interest, engagement, attentiveness, disinterest, detachment, or avoidance.

By subtly adjusting your body orientation, you can signal your level of investment in a conversation or relationship.

6. Proximity

How close is too close?

Your proximity to others can communicate intimacy, trust, rapport, discomfort, boundary violation, and aggression.

Whether standing shoulder to shoulder with a friend or maintaining a comfortable distance from a stranger, your proximity sends a clear message about your level of comfort and connection.

7. Touch

Reach out and touch someone!

Physical touch is an assertive nonverbal communication that conveys warmth, affection, and support. It can also convey aggression, dominance, and boundary violation.

Whether it's a firm handshake, a pat on the back, or a hug, our touch communicates a wealth of emotions and intentions.

8. Vocal Tone and Inflection

It's not just what you say but how you say it!

Our vocal tone and inflexion can convey emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, or excitement, adding nuance and depth to our verbal communication.

Whether we speak with a calm, soothing tone or a loud, harsh one, our voice communicates much more than mere words.

Imagine a customer service representative on the phone with a disgruntled customer. As they speak, you notice that their voice is tense and strained, with a hint of impatience or irritation creeping in.

Despite their polite words, their tone of voice betrays their frustration or exhaustion, leaving the customer feeling unheard or undervalued.

Alternatively, imagine you're giving a presentation to a group of colleagues.

As you speak, you notice that your voice rises, becoming increasingly high-pitched and squeaky. Despite your confident demeanour, your rising pitch betrays nervousness or anxiety, undermining the authority and credibility of your message.

9. Mirroring

Monkey see, monkey do!

Mirroring is a subconscious form of nonverbal communication where we imitate the gestures, expressions, and behaviours of others.

By mirroring someone's body language, we signal empathy, rapport, and connection, fostering a sense of understanding and mutual respect.

10. Microexpressions

Blink, and you'll miss it!

Microexpressions are fleeting facial expressions that occur in a fraction of a second, revealing our real emotions before we can conceal them.

Whether it's a subtle twitch of the lips or a brief furrowing of the brow, these microexpressions betray our innermost thoughts and feelings, even when we try to mask them.

Let's say you're interviewing a candidate for a job. As they answer your questions, you notice that they are blinking rapidly, almost as if trying to shield themselves from the intensity of the conversation.

Despite their confident responses, their excessive blinking betrays nervousness or anxiety, suggesting they may not be as self-assured as they appear.

Can you see how various subtle cues and signals in body language can betray our true thoughts and feelings, even when we try to mask them with words?

Whether it's posture, eye contact, blinking, facial expressions, tone of voice, pitch of voice, gestures, or time, our nonverbal communication speaks volumes about our inner state, often revealing more than we intend to disclose.

So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, remember to pay attention to what is being said and the silent messages conveyed by body language.

After all, actions may speak louder than words; sometimes, they speak volumes without saying anything.

Until next time, may your body language mirror your words.

Dion Le Roux