Are You Civilised ?

I asked various people what it means to be civilised, and most responded by describing a set of behaviours, values, and characteristics generally considered refined, cultured, and socially acceptable.

They mentioned things like following laws and societal norms, being educated and knowledgeable, treating others with respect, being polite, demonstrating kindness, etc.

Do you agree?

Years ago, cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead theorised that human behaviour is determined by culture rather than biology. She received much criticism for having this view.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that a student once asked her what she considered the first sign of civilisation in a culture to be.

Given the nature of anthropological fieldwork, the student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks, clay pots, or grinding stones.

Surprisingly, Mead replied that the first sign of civilisation is a healed human femur.  The femur is the largest bone in the human body and connects the hip to the knee.

At face value, Mead's explanation appears simple and without merit.

But in fact, it is rather profound.

In the animal kingdom, a broken leg is a death sentence. Without the ability to flee from danger, search for food, or defend oneself, an injured animal is at the mercy of predators lurking in the shadows.

Survival is a luxury afforded only to the strongest and fastest, while the wounded are left to fend for themselves in a cruel and unforgiving world.

But humans are different.

We possess something that sets us apart from animals, namely our capacity for compassion, empathy, and altruism.

When someone falls, when they stumble and break, we do not generally turn away or abandon them to their fate. Instead, we gather around them, offering support and a helping hand in their need.

A broken femur that has healed is, therefore, more than just a testament to the human body's resilience. It is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

It is evidence that someone has taken the time to stay with the fallen, to bind up their wounds, to carry them to safety, and to tend to them through their darkest hour.

Mead's point, therefore, was that helping someone else through difficulty is where civilisation starts, and she was right.

In serving others and extending a hand to those in need, we truly embody the highest ideals of civilisation.

In these moments of selflessness and solidarity, we affirm our shared humanity and forge bonds that transcend the boundaries of culture, creed, and language.

So then, what does it mean to be civilised?

It doesn't mean you don't need to get an education, obey societal laws or forget your table manners.

But it is worth reflecting on the extent to which you display the following qualities:

1. Compassion

Compassion is the ability to empathise with others and to feel their pain or suffering. For example, offering a shoulder to cry on or providing emotional support to a friend going through a difficult time.

2. Empathy

Empathy involves understanding and sharing another person's feelings, for example, putting yourself in someone else's shoes to better understand their perspective and experiences.

3. Kindness

Kindness is being friendly, generous, and considerate towards others, for example, holding the door open for someone or offering a compliment to brighten someone's day.

4. Altruism

Altruism is the selfless concern for others well-being, even at the expense of one's own interests. For example, you can donate your time or resources to help those in need without expecting anything.

5. Respect

Respect is treating others with dignity, consideration, and understanding. For example, listen attentively to someone's opinions, even if you disagree with them, and refrain from belittling or demeaning others.

6. Inclusivity

Inclusivity involves welcoming and accepting people of diverse backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs We can accomplish this by fostering an environment where all feel valued and respected, irrespective of their differences.

7. Justice

Justice ensures fairness, equality, and accountability in our interactions and society. For example, when we advocate for marginalised groups' rights and speak out against injustice and discrimination.

8. Civility

Civility is the practice of polite and respectful behaviour towards others, even in challenging situations. For example, engaging in constructive dialogue and debate while remaining courteous and respectful towards opposing viewpoints.

9. Community

Community is a sense of belonging and connection to others and a commitment to working together for the common good, for example, volunteering in local organisations or participating in community events to strengthen bonds and support one another.

These key points illustrate some aspects of what it truly means to be civilised.

Embodying these principles in our interactions and relationships can catalyse transformation towards a more harmonious and compassionate society.

Until next time, may you continue contributing to building a civilised world.

Dion Le Roux