Communication Mishaps
"My mouth is wired to my heart and my brain. When I speak, I sometimes get the connections wrong." - Dion Le Roux
Imagine you are trying to express a feeling or thought, but the words that come out of your mouth don't feel right.
You know what you're trying to say, but somehow, the connection between your heart, brain, and speech gets a little scrambled, leading to a miscommunication between you and the person you're talking to.
We've all been there, right?
Imagine you're at a job interview, trying to impress the interviewing panel with your professionalism and communication skills. You confidently answer a question about your strengths, saying, "Well, I'm like a Swiss army knife! I have a tool for every ... uh, situation and can ... um, slice through challenges with ... precision?"
The hiring manager gives you a puzzled look, and you can feel the sweat forming on your brow. Your brain is desperately trying to backtrack, but the damage is done. "I mean, I'm versatile and adaptable, like ... uh, a chameleon in a business suit!" you hastily add, hoping to salvage the interview.
Needless to say, you don't get the job, but hey, at least you provided some entertainment for the hiring team.
Interestingly, getting the connections wrong reveals a profound truth about the complexity of human communication.
It shows us that expressing ourselves is not a straightforward process but a delicate dance between our thoughts, emotions, and spoken words.
And sometimes, that dance can be a little tricky to navigate.
When we speak, our mouth becomes the gateway for our inner world to find outward expression. Our hearts provide the raw material for authentic expression while our brains process those emotions and thoughts into communicable forms.
But there are moments when this intricate system doesn't function harmoniously, leading to a divergence between what we intend to say and what comes out of our mouths.
This phenomenon is amplified when we try to communicate through text messages where facial expressions, body language and even tone of voice can be absent.
In his blog "Respect Each Other's Delusions" (link below), Morgan Housel references Will and Ariel Durant's "The Lessons of History", where the takeaway phrase is:
"Learn enough from history to bear reality patiently and respect one another's delusions."
The misalignment in communication can occasionally lead us to believe that the other person is delusional, which can trigger serious conflict between people.
But the misalignment between heart, brain, and speech is a universal experience.
It doesn't matter how eloquent or articulate we are; the limitations of language mean that expressing our emotions and thoughts is never a straightforward process.
There are always shades of meaning that defy easy translation into words, and sometimes, our thoughts and feelings are too complex to articulate with precision.
This is why listening attentively and paying attention to body language are crucial to effective communication. It enables us to grasp nuances that may elude verbal expression.
Getting the connections wrong sometimes can be a good thing, though.
It reminds us that communication is a messy, imperfect process and that communication is often the most powerful when it is authentic, even if it is imperfect.
And it's in those moments of vulnerability and authenticity, we connect most deeply with others.
So, the next time you struggle to find the right words, remember that getting the connections wrong is just part of the dance.
Yes, be mindful of how you choose to communicate, always doing so with good intent. But also embrace the imperfections in your communication and trust that your heart, brain, and speech will eventually find their way back into sync.
And in the meantime, enjoy the beauty and richness of the human experience in all its messy, imperfect glory.
Until next time, may you communicate authentically and listen attentively.
Dion le Roux
1. Durant, W., & Durant, A. (1968). The Lessons of History. Simon & Schuster.
2. Housel, M. (2023, Dec 2021). Respect Each Other's Delusions. Collab Fund. [https://collabfund.com/blog/respect-each-others-delusions]