Why Are You Settling ?

"Our hearts know the truth, and our minds filter that truth to protect us from foolish impulsiveness. Sometimes, though, that filter is too strong, and so we sacrifice the possibility of life in full technicolour glory to forever stumble in trenches of black and white." - Dion Le Roux

Have you ever stood at a proverbial crossroads? Have you ever wondered which way to go? Have you ever been overwhelmed by the intuitive desires of your heart only to be challenged by the overpowering rationale of your mind?

And after contemplating the pros and cons for days or weeks, did you decide? More importantly, was your decision the right one?

Welcome to the delicate dance or crazy jive, between the heart and the mind, where we often find ourselves swaying to the rhythm of reason and adhering to the dictates of what seems sensible and rational.

Yet, buried beneath the layers of logic lies an unspoken truth: we might be settling for a life less extraordinary because we pay too much heed to the mind's clamour and not enough to the subtle whispers of our hearts.

Picture this: a crossroads where your mind stands firmly pointing to the well-paved path of convention, and your heart, a silent rebel, yearns for the untrodden trail bathed in uncertainty.

The inclination to settle often stems from our innate fear of straying from the rational, measurable norms dictated by societal expectations.

We become hostages to the judgments of others, tethered to a life that looks good on paper but may leave the soul wanting.

Why do we fear following the gentle nudges of our hearts? Perhaps it's the anxiety of swimming against the current, the unease that arises when we deviate from the script society has written.

We are conditioned to prioritise stability, practicality, and predictability.

On the other hand, the heart craves spontaneity, passion, and the thrill of the unknown.

The mind often takes centre stage in this delicate balance, overshadowing the heart's murmurings. We seek the safety of the familiar, choosing the secure job over the risky passion project, the stable relationship over the unpredictable allure of love.

The mind weaves a web of justifications, presenting a rational facade to cloak the trepidation that lurks within. Yet, settling can be a subtle betrayal of the dreams our hearts harbour.

Conventional norms act as silent puppeteers, manipulating our choices and moulding our aspirations.

We fear the perceived consequences of straying off the beaten path, worrying about the disapproving glances and raised eyebrows of those who champion practicality over passion.

But, in consenting to societal expectations, we may find ourselves caught in the undertow of a life dictated by external pressures rather than one defined by the genuine desires of our hearts.

We must learn to balance reason with intuition and logic with emotion to break free from settling.

It's about recognising that the heart, though a silent whisperer, carries the power to lead us to a life rich with meaning and fulfilment.

Embracing vulnerability, we can challenge the fear of judgment and societal expectations, allowing ourselves the freedom to explore the uncharted territories of our passions.

Let us not forget that some of the most extraordinary stories emerge from the courage to defy conventional norms.

The artists, entrepreneurs, and visionaries who dared to listen to their hearts often found themselves on paths less travelled, crafting narratives that inspire generations.

In giving our hearts a seat at the decision-making table, we open ourselves to the possibility of a life that resonates with authenticity and purpose.

Our hearts are the emotional centre of our being, where our deepest desires and fears reside. They can often perceive truths that our minds cannot deduce.

It does not mean our minds should not act as gatekeepers, analysing and rationalising our thoughts and emotions.

But we should recognise that our minds can sometimes be overprotective, toning down the vibrant hues of emotional truth to maintain a semblance of order and prudence.

A powerful analogy is the delicate balance parents have to exercise in allowing their children the freedom to explore the world, fall, get hurt and rise again. And in doing so, grow, learn, and flourish.

How would they ever discover the joys of life if this were not possible?

Have you ever witnessed the sheer misery of a child held captive to the suffocating boundaries of overbearing parents?

Of course, this does not mean the freedom to explore is indiscriminate. Boundaries are necessary, but they should be appropriate.

Similarly, our hearts and minds are in a constant interplay, and when the mind's filter becomes too strong, we lose something profound.

The mind's protective filter then confines us to a binary existence, navigating through the stark contrasts of black and white rather than revelling in the kaleidoscope of colours that life inherently offers.

Living in full technicolour glory means embracing life's unpredictable, messy, and energetic aspects.

It is a canvas painted with moments of joy, sorrow, love, and myriad shades in between.

When we hold back and operate within the confines of rigid norms and dogmas, we stifle the richness of diversity, creativity, and innovation.

Finding a balance between the heart and mind requires introspection and recalibration.

It is a journey that invites us to step out of the comfort zones of black-and-white certainty, inviting the unpredictability of the technicolour unknown.

So, how do you master the profound dance between the heart and mind? It starts by recognising the delicate balance required for a life in full technicolour glory.

Your mind may be the master of reason, but acknowledge that your heart cannot be dismissed.

Settling is a quiet compromise we make when we prioritise the rational expectations of the mind over the silent desires of the heart. By acknowledging the fear of judgment, challenging societal norms, and embracing vulnerability, we can break free from the cycle of settling.

We must recognise when the filter hinders, stifling the vibrant hues of genuine emotion and spontaneity.

Will it be easy? Of course not. Should you throw caution to the wind and follow only the desires of your heart? No.

But ask yourself this: Am I living or merely existing? Do I feel a profound joy when I get up each day? If not, it may be time to give your heart a greater voice.

Until next time, may you listen to your heart more and live authentically.

Dion Le Roux